Friday 24 August 2012

Job


When I was travelling on the tube last week an elderly woman collapsed on the platform.  A group of people rushed to help her and a man further down the platform came forward to explain that he was a doctor.  I thought, “I wish I could do that”.

I have a dream that plays out along the following lines:

My wife and I are flying abroad for a holiday.  We're about two hours out of East Midlands airport and all of a sudden there is an announcement over the aircraft PA.
 
“This is the captain speaking.  Please do not be alarmed, but is there anyone on board who knows how to carry out a Business Impact Analysis?”.

There are a few gasps amongst the passengers.  Someone near to us starts praying quietly.  And then I stand up and announce,

“Don’t worry, I’m a Business Continuity Consultant”.

As I’m led through Economy into Business Class, I hear a woman give thanks to God.  In Business Class, two stewardesses are leaning over a middle-aged businessman.  His tie has been loosened, he is sweating and he has a flannel on his forehead.

I kneel next to the man and with a comforting smile explain that it’s all going to be OK.  I turn to one of the stewardesses and say,

“Can you please get me my case.  It contains a copy of the new ISO22301 documentation.  I’ll also need a pencil and paper, and a flipchart.”

Two hours later I emerge from Business Class through the curtain into Economy.  There is a hush.

“We’ve managed to establish the Maximum Tolerable Period of Disruption for his critical processes and he’s agreed his Recovery Time Objectives.  If we can schedule a Strategy Workshop in the next couple of weeks, he’s going to be fine”.

The cabin erupts into applause.  A stewardess kisses me on the cheek. One of the stewards slips his telephone number into my back pocket.  A small boy comes toward me clutching a teddy bear,

“Can you carry out a Business Impact Analysis on my teddy, mister?”

I ruffle his hair and give him my business card.  As I approach my seat I can see my wife mouthing the words “I love you".

The only two grains of truth in this scenario are that, if I keep working as a Business Continuity Consultant, my wife and I will always be sitting in Economy (Premium Economy at a push) and I'm pretty sure that my wife loves me.

I enjoy my work, but I accepted long ago that being a Business Continuity Consultant is not a glamorous profession.  There are some jobs where women want to have sex with you just because of what you do (curse you, firemen!).  Business Continuity is not one of these jobs.  It needs a more dynamic title for a start.  I want to be a 'Crisis Preventer' or a 'World Saver', not a Business Continuity Consultant.

But it's what I do. And whenever I feel as though my job couldn't be any less glamorous I comfort myself that at least I'm not still in IT.

4 comments:

  1. That's such a good blog post, I want to have sex with you ;-)

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    1. Thanks Carolyn. I've just spent an uncomfortable 10 minutes explaining to my wife who this woman is that wants to have sex with me. On the plus side, there's another person in this world that now knows about PWS.

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  2. Love your blog, Nick/HP. And don't give up hope too quickly - your day may come.

    I once spotted a young woman at the station with tears streaming down her face. As regulars, we all shuffled awkwardly thinking "boyfriend problems .." until she started to pull out something I recognised: careers booklets. It's the only time I've been able to use the phrase "Let me through, I'm a careers adviser".

    One train journey of careers advice and her pre-exam panic was settled. I've since spotted her looking like the young professional she was destined to become.

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